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Gonzo Lives

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Lust for Wander

"In the age of automation and job security, a touch of the wanderlust is the kiss of death." - HST

And still, here I am. Facing an endless summer that's maniacally flying by, out of control and unable to cope. All I want to do is get in that car and drive West again, even while a portion of each and every paycheck contributes to paying off last summer's trek (amongst other myriad costs of Fall 2003 and the Desperate Winter of '04). I get up in the morning with a routine staring me in the face and with the early morning summer sun triggering an alarming sense of alertness far too quickly. Then I still manage to burn those many minutes so that I stroll into work at 9:20, but heading to work is anything but a "stroll." Half the problem is knowing that each and every step on my way to the T is exactly the same as each and every one the day before and taking no comfort in that, appreciating none of it, as much as I like my home and my neighborhood.

After 3 months in I already need a chance to get out.

3.5 actually. Each gets harder and I'm not the only one who thinks so. I've watched the dynamic there change, and it's downright ugly. And sad. Enthusiasm is sapped and stripped away, replaced by the apathy that results from short-sightedness and lack of planning compromising the project. It's a damn shame really. Unfortunately some people seem to deal with it by passing off their team management responsibilities onto me so that I'm babysitting people who are supposed to be at the same level as I am.

A *touch* of the wanderlust? Is such a thing possible? I'm purely hungrily lusting to wander.

And unable to do so.


At 7:50 PM, Blogger me said...

you've been brainwashed by HST.


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